i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
