I just saw a hot homeless man
Nicole vs. Life
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize