I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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