You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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