I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
