is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
