from now on my penis is your penis
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize