Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
