i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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