I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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