Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
