Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
