haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
