1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
