basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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