He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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