spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
