I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think your dad took our porno
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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