I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
