wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
