Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
