i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
