her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
