i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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