He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
