I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
