Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
