Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
