this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize