Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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