Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
