do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
