Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she peed on how many people?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You have to summon your inner elephant
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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