She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm at about main and main street
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize