Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
