Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
