he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
