I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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