I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
