i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
