I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
