nut hugger
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Drake has all the answers
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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