My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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