they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
