matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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