I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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