it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
