Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
