there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
