My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
