i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize