these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize