Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
