Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
