i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
