I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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