Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
