I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Randomize
