yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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