my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize