Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
