You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
