I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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