I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
