Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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