...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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