idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize