If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
