the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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