Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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