How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
They took my balls.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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