Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
