I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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