Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
