so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
