Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
