this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
