and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
