i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So much rum. So many feels.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
