do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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