I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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